Why I Love Being Involved With Honduras

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This post is written by Ricky Lania

Eight years ago, my mom told me we were going to have a little girl from Honduras live at our house while she received treatment for her clubfeet. As a 15 year old, I was hesitant about the idea of a baby from some foreign country staying with us because selfishly I knew it would affect my life. Little did I know just how big an affect it would be.

My involvement with Honduras has grown significantly over the years and while I’ve put in time and energy, I’ve received so much more in return. Initially, I just played with the children who were living at our home to help ease the transition. I can’t imagine what goes through their heads when they have to come to a new country, live with strangers who speak a different language, and have a major surgery. Attempting to remove any of the scariness and making our home a fun place to live was definitely important to me.

Stefany Club Feet As Stefany, Noel, and Astrid made return visits to the US and I started traveling to Honduras, I became much more connected with the children. It was then that it hit me how different the lives of these children who I had become so close to could have been. Stefany was born with feet looking like this:

Without surgery, she never would have been able to walk and would have been an outcast in her village her entire life. It always makes me smile when I see her able to run and be the little tomboy she truly is (she is not afraid to throw a punch).

Four years ago, Noel’s parents told me they would like me to be his Padrino (god father). I felt honored as Noel had become like another brother to me. While I definitely appreciated Mita and Muncho selecting me, Noel found a way to give me an even better gift when I was in Honduras in February. On my first full day in Honduras, I went to pick Noel up from his bilingual school. When I found him in a big auditorium, Noel wanted to walk me around. As we went by his classmates and friends, he would stop at each one, point at me, and tell them “this is MY padrino.” I can’t even describe how cool it felt that Noel cared so much about me that he wanted to show me off.

It hasn’t been just the children who have stayed at my house that has helped me develop a love for Honduras but also the people in Flores as well. Every time I am there, they could not be more helpful, protective, and caring. While these Hondurans comparatively have so little, they are always trying to do something to help me. This definitely provides a driving force for why I want to continue to help them. Whether its spreading the word, collecting donations, or applying for grants, knowing that they not only need help but sincerely appreciate it motivates me to find new ways to help.

For anyone who is interested in becoming involved, I definitely recommended it. There are so many different ways to help and I have no doubt you’ll find you get much more out it than you put in.

A Missed Childhood…

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Woman Washing Clothes
Last week, I visited a 13 year old Honduran girl who is here in Boston at Shriners Hospital, being treated for burns. Dania is here without family, as is often the case, having to face surgeries alone. Not only has she been dealing with terrible burns, she also suffered the traumatic loss of having her beautiful, long hair shaved, so that the doctors could use some of her skin for grafting.

I accompanied two women who have befriended Dania, and offer her love, attention and home-cooking. They shared her story with me…

Dania is one of 12 children and has never had the opportunity to attend school. She cannot read, write or name colors. What struck me the harshest is when they described, “she’s never had the chance to play.” Such a shocking reality of life for many growing up in Honduras. Pre-schoolers are active contributors around the house. Older children often work outside the home, doing hard manual labor in order to earn a few “lempiras” (money) for their families.

Dania has missed the chance for a childhood because she has been the one in her family who is responsible for cooking. I have such fond childhood memories of “playing house” or “playing school”…Dania wasn’t playing.

The Honduran Pace Of Life

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People at a clinic waiting

“Honduran time.” Anyone who has traveled to, or lives in Honduras, knows what I am talking about. This is something I embrace and struggle with every time I’m there. On the one hand, it can drive me crazy standing on the side of the road, waiting for a bus. There isn’t a real schedule, it “comes when it comes.” We may be headed into the city with a list of items we hope to accomplish. Inevitably, we won’t get it all done. It may be that the internet is down, the lawyer is out of legal paper, or someone is on strike. It can be terribly frustrating…

Thankfully, these feelings are contrasted by the pleasures of slowing down. I never experience the stress in my neck, and spend much more time “being” rather than “doing”. Often times the heat forces you to slow down and take more time for leisure. We certainly spend more time visiting with neighbors and friends…in the end, the pace is a “gift.”

The Resiliency of the People

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Honduran Family

It has been ten years since our journey to Honduras first began. During that time we have tried many things, made many mistakes and learned a great deal. One thing that stands out boldly is the resiliency of the Honduran people.

In this third world country, where the majority are living well below the poverty line; most lacking proper housing, medical care, educational opportunities and even clean water, they remain resilient.

Living life, facing daily struggles, is their norm. Many of our neighbors live day-to-day, meal-to-meal. Perhaps this is how they are able to “live in the moment”, not wasting their energy worrying about tomorrow or the “what if’s” of the past.

It seems to me that people living in poverty are faced with insurmountable challenges. We witness families having to decide whether to purchase medicine or food…they can’t afford both. We know people who work in deplorable conditions in order to earn a few meager dollars.

Accidents and early deaths are common. Whether it’s riding in a run down bus or car, prone to crash. Or living in a home without electricity where the occurrence of burns is high because of accidents with candles or open fires. We’ve known of children dying in pillas (used for washing), rivers, and being hit on the highway, crossing for school. This is life.

And yet, I never hear complaints…pleas for help perhaps, but no sense of entitlement. My dear friend, Ana said simply, “why wish for something you don’t have? I don’t miss it because I never had it.” So simple.

Facing daily adversities certainly makes the people strong…physically, emotionally, spiritually. We will continue to learn by our Honduran friends, and it will be humbling.

The Luxury of Vacation

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Honduran Workers

As I sit here on the beach at Hilton Head, S.C., I think of the people in Honduras. It doesn’t matter where I am, every day they are on my mind and in my heart. Today it strikes me because I’m on vacation and I think what a foreign concept that is for most Honduran people.

They struggle to find work, no matter what the conditions and how limited the pay. Others strive for the opportunity to attend school, if their families can afford their uniforms and can get by without them contributing income.

And here I sit, watching the ocean and thinking of my friends who are dealing with the hottest month of the year, wondering if they will have the opportunity to find a cool place to refresh.

Fortunately, guilt is not consuming me. Instead, through the years of working in Honduras, I have learned to appreciate everything! Not just affording a vacation, but every day simplicities such as a clean shower or the ability to open my medicine cabinet and find what’s needed. We are blessed

Saying Farewell to Berenice and Astrid

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Astrid and Berenice

One of the most frequent questions I am asked while being a foster mom/temporary legal guardian is, “how do you let the children go? ” Many follow-up with, “it would be too hard for me” or “I would just want to keep them.”

In the past four days, I have sent one year old Berenice and six year old Astrid, home to their families, in Honduras. Berenice was here for only six weeks, but it was a very intense period of time because she underwent a heart catheterization and open heart surgery, spending more than a week in the pediatric intensive care unit at Tufts Medical Center. There were some very frightening moments during Bee’s stay in the hospital, and I often thought of her family far away, and how fortunate I was that they trusted me with her care.

Astrid was here for four months, and was hospitalized for two surgeries on her foot. Although the surgeries were less frightening for me, the months of having a young child in a full length (non weight bearing) cast were fairly demanding. During this time, Astrid did not complain once of the inconvenience or pain she endured. Not only could we witness the physical changes, we watched her master the English language and grow emotionally and academically.

Although “the girls” really became a part of our family, I have such a sense of peace in saying “farewell” to them. I really believe that I have done what I was “called to do”, and am now sending them back, to where they truly belong. It is also reassuring knowing that I will see them in June, and they will forever remain in our hearts.

In Bee’s time…

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It’s been a few days since I last wrote…Bee decided to spend St. Patrick’s Day in her own way…watching the doctors run to her room and having the ventilator re-inserted and a chest tube added to drain the fluid in her lungs. This wasn’t what the rest of us had in mind…perhaps she was getting me back because I didn’t have a green bow for her hair!

Bee remained on the ventilator for the next 3 days and it was removed yesterday at noon. She enjoyed the afternoon by getting out of her crib and being held and played with. Little by little, IV’s are being removed…although still enough wires to get tangled in and try to pull out!  Yesterday she was back to a popsicle and today she’s advanced to scrambled eggs and jello.

They continue to do chest xrays and actually culturing her now to see if she has some sort of infection. Hopefully, it’s simply a cold. On my way down to the gift shop to get her a balloon…she loved playing with the one for her birthday! Astrid has made a beautiful get well card and it is hanging in her room. Hopefully, we will continue on the up swing!

Bee’s newest milestone

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Berenice

Baby Bee is breathing on her own. The team removed her from the ventilator about an hour ago. Actually nice to see her fiestiness reappear, and she was back to kicking and shaking a rattle. Her voice is still quite raspy, and her distinctive voice (a.k.a. high-pitched shriek) hasn’t shown itself, but it will come. Right now, she  is resting comfortably and the docs are happy with her continued progress. She’s sporting one of her signature bows and has a doll by her side. Thanks to all the wonderful staff at Tufts and to friends and family for all your support.

Baby Bee has moved to P.I.C.U.

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Berenice

Am thrilled to report that Berenice’s surgery was successful and she’s moved to the P.I.C.U.! Dr. Warner was able to remove/patch her pulmonary valve and that seemed to stop the tricuspid valve from leaking. Her enlarged heart has already shown signs that it is decreasing in size, and it will continue to get smaller. They plan to keep her heavily sedated, and she will remain on a ventilator over night while her lungs become accustomed to the increased blood flow. There is much rejoicing being done both here and in Honduras! Thanks to each and every one of you for all your love and support…it is so very appreciated.

Berenice returns to Tufts Medical Center

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Last Wednesday (March 14th) baby Berenice spent 7 hours in the cath lab. Unfortunately, the doctors were unable to complete the catheterization. Yesterday, Berenice was re-admitted to the hospital and this morning she is undergoing open heart surgery to repair her pulmonary and tricuspid valves. It has been nearly two hours since she entered the OR,  and we have many more hours to wait. Thankfully, Berenice’s aunt Digna and her cousin Gabriel have arrived from Pennsylvania and are waiting with me. We just spoke with Berenice’s mother, who is back home in La Lima waiting for news. We are comforted knowing there are people from many faiths and cultures, praying here and in Honduras…Baby B is surrounded by much love!