So Many Things To Love About Honduras

Emily with a group of Hondurans

When I think about living in Honduras, one of the first things to come to mind is simplicity. Our home is small, on a tiny plot of land and the house is so uncluttered…no t.v., dishwasher, washing machine etc. We live amongst the geckos, roosters and a roaming bull.

Our home is generally filled with children. I love to watch them play…they still rely on their imaginations to make up games…something many other children have lost. When they don’t have certain equipment for sports, they make up their own. Flip-flops are used for goalie gloves and sticks are used for baseball bats.

And it’s not just the children who show their creativity…I have seen adults use Coke bottles for three different things. One was used at a public hospital to collect used needles. A smaller version was used by an elderly asthmatic patient for an inhaler. Our friend Mita cut her’s lengthwise, and uses them for flower boxes.

Simple life….their homes, their lives, their wants, their needs.

Living In Two Worlds

Noel Two Worlds

How do they adapt to living in two different cultures? We have hosted a baby as young as 11 months, many school aged children, a 19 year old young woman and a middle aged man, while they have received medical treatment. They have stayed for as little as six weeks and as long as six months. We often wonder how they acclimate to life in the U.S., and how they re-adjust to life back home in Honduras.

Recently we hosted 11 month old Berenice. She arrived to us with a serious heart defect. I cannot begin to imagine what her parents went through emotionally, handing her off to a nurse who would transport her to us…a family they had never met, living in a foreign country. People often question, “how could they let their child go?” My response is, “this is there only hope for keeping their child alive.”

Berenice arrived to us having been solely breast fed. Those first few days were quite challenging, offering her every type of formula and milk in all types of bottles and sippy cups. At last we discovered juice in a glass was what she’d tolerate…she loved the way her new teeth clanked on the glass! Soon we began introducing every type of food…so much for one new item at a time, this was full immersion.

Not only was food a new thing to become accostomed to, so was sleep. No longer was she snuggled in bed with others or perhaps sleeping in a hammock. She was now offered her own crib, in a room by herself. It became my husband’s nightly routine to sing her to sleep with a Willie Nelson tune.

Along with food and sleep, we all looked different, spoke in a different language and lived in a much different climate. It was amazing to see how quickly Berenice acclimated. Soon she was calling me “Mama” and learning to wave “bye bye” and play “peek-a-boo!”

The other children have adapted equally as easily. I am astounded how quickly they try new foods, master electronics, and even learn that it’s safe to flush toilet paper! It is a rare occassion that they become tearful and express missing their families back home. I often reflect to being a six year old girl, attending a week long day camp, in the next town over, and being extremely homesick!

Pleasantly, eveyone who has stayed with us wants to go home. They miss their families, friends and culture. It certainly has made our “farewells” easier, knowing they are returning to someone and something they love.

The Inequities

Honduran Children Outside

I grew up blissfully believing that “life was fair.” I have many memories of my grandmother giving my brothers and me equal amounts of gifts, wanting everyone to have the same. It wasn’t until I was an adult, and more notably, after visiting Honduras that I really became aware of the inequities of life.

After visiting Honduras, I realized how blessed I was to be born in the United States. I don’t always feel proud, but I certainly feel blessed.

Others often question why we volunteer in Honduras, saying there’s so much need in the U.S. We certainly don’t discredit this and don’t believe it should be an either/or choice of involvement. But, there is a huge disparity. Honduras doesn’t have the “safety net” that the U.S. offers. They do no not have a medicaid system, homeless shelters or food pantries which we have. When you are admitted to a public hospital, you are responsible for everything from your own medications and blood to toilet paper. If you are accompanying a patient, don’t think you’ll be sleeping on a pull-out chair, you may have the chance to sleep on the blood stained floor.

Attending schools in Honduras is often a priviledge, not an expectation. In the U.S. we  deal with truancy, in Honduras, they are grappling for the opportunity

The Resiliency of the People

Honduran Family

It has been ten years since our journey to Honduras first began. During that time we have tried many things, made many mistakes and learned a great deal. One thing that stands out boldly is the resiliency of the Honduran people.

In this third world country, where the majority are living well below the poverty line; most lacking proper housing, medical care, educational opportunities and even clean water, they remain resilient.

Living life, facing daily struggles, is their norm. Many of our neighbors live day-to-day, meal-to-meal. Perhaps this is how they are able to “live in the moment”, not wasting their energy worrying about tomorrow or the “what if’s” of the past.

It seems to me that people living in poverty are faced with insurmountable challenges. We witness families having to decide whether to purchase medicine or food…they can’t afford both. We know people who work in deplorable conditions in order to earn a few meager dollars.

Accidents and early deaths are common. Whether it’s riding in a run down bus or car, prone to crash. Or living in a home without electricity where the occurrence of burns is high because of accidents with candles or open fires. We’ve known of children dying in pillas (used for washing), rivers, and being hit on the highway, crossing for school. This is life.

And yet, I never hear complaints…pleas for help perhaps, but no sense of entitlement. My dear friend, Ana said simply, “why wish for something you don’t have? I don’t miss it because I never had it.” So simple.

Facing daily adversities certainly makes the people strong…physically, emotionally, spiritually. We will continue to learn by our Honduran friends, and it will be humbling.

Saying Farewell to Berenice and Astrid

Astrid and Berenice

One of the most frequent questions I am asked while being a foster mom/temporary legal guardian is, “how do you let the children go? ” Many follow-up with, “it would be too hard for me” or “I would just want to keep them.”

In the past four days, I have sent one year old Berenice and six year old Astrid, home to their families, in Honduras. Berenice was here for only six weeks, but it was a very intense period of time because she underwent a heart catheterization and open heart surgery, spending more than a week in the pediatric intensive care unit at Tufts Medical Center. There were some very frightening moments during Bee’s stay in the hospital, and I often thought of her family far away, and how fortunate I was that they trusted me with her care.

Astrid was here for four months, and was hospitalized for two surgeries on her foot. Although the surgeries were less frightening for me, the months of having a young child in a full length (non weight bearing) cast were fairly demanding. During this time, Astrid did not complain once of the inconvenience or pain she endured. Not only could we witness the physical changes, we watched her master the English language and grow emotionally and academically.

Although “the girls” really became a part of our family, I have such a sense of peace in saying “farewell” to them. I really believe that I have done what I was “called to do”, and am now sending them back, to where they truly belong. It is also reassuring knowing that I will see them in June, and they will forever remain in our hearts.

In Bee’s time…

It’s been a few days since I last wrote…Bee decided to spend St. Patrick’s Day in her own way…watching the doctors run to her room and having the ventilator re-inserted and a chest tube added to drain the fluid in her lungs. This wasn’t what the rest of us had in mind…perhaps she was getting me back because I didn’t have a green bow for her hair!

Bee remained on the ventilator for the next 3 days and it was removed yesterday at noon. She enjoyed the afternoon by getting out of her crib and being held and played with. Little by little, IV’s are being removed…although still enough wires to get tangled in and try to pull out!  Yesterday she was back to a popsicle and today she’s advanced to scrambled eggs and jello.

They continue to do chest xrays and actually culturing her now to see if she has some sort of infection. Hopefully, it’s simply a cold. On my way down to the gift shop to get her a balloon…she loved playing with the one for her birthday! Astrid has made a beautiful get well card and it is hanging in her room. Hopefully, we will continue on the up swing!

Bee’s newest milestone

Berenice

Baby Bee is breathing on her own. The team removed her from the ventilator about an hour ago. Actually nice to see her fiestiness reappear, and she was back to kicking and shaking a rattle. Her voice is still quite raspy, and her distinctive voice (a.k.a. high-pitched shriek) hasn’t shown itself, but it will come. Right now, she  is resting comfortably and the docs are happy with her continued progress. She’s sporting one of her signature bows and has a doll by her side. Thanks to all the wonderful staff at Tufts and to friends and family for all your support.

Baby Bee has moved to P.I.C.U.

Berenice

Am thrilled to report that Berenice’s surgery was successful and she’s moved to the P.I.C.U.! Dr. Warner was able to remove/patch her pulmonary valve and that seemed to stop the tricuspid valve from leaking. Her enlarged heart has already shown signs that it is decreasing in size, and it will continue to get smaller. They plan to keep her heavily sedated, and she will remain on a ventilator over night while her lungs become accustomed to the increased blood flow. There is much rejoicing being done both here and in Honduras! Thanks to each and every one of you for all your love and support…it is so very appreciated.

Berenice returns to Tufts Medical Center

Last Wednesday (March 14th) baby Berenice spent 7 hours in the cath lab. Unfortunately, the doctors were unable to complete the catheterization. Yesterday, Berenice was re-admitted to the hospital and this morning she is undergoing open heart surgery to repair her pulmonary and tricuspid valves. It has been nearly two hours since she entered the OR,  and we have many more hours to wait. Thankfully, Berenice’s aunt Digna and her cousin Gabriel have arrived from Pennsylvania and are waiting with me. We just spoke with Berenice’s mother, who is back home in La Lima waiting for news. We are comforted knowing there are people from many faiths and cultures, praying here and in Honduras…Baby B is surrounded by much love!

Berenice Turns 1!!!

Berenice turned one year old on March 10. 2011. This was the day she was discharged from Tufts, following the heart catheterization. Astrid (6 years old) had baked and decorated her cake and was so excited for the party. However, Berenice was too tired and fell asleep early, so we postponed the party for the following day.

The girls were all dressed up in their party dresses, hats, blowers and balloons. Berenice enjoyed the songs and birthday cake. We felt privileged to be part of her celebration. Our thoughts were with her family in Honduras, and with Ray Tye’s family here in the Boston area. I believe it’s a miracle that Berenice was born on the day Ray passed away, and am sure there is a bond between them. May they both stay blessed.